This morning I awoke to a text message from my brother Shawn asking to borrow money. Shawn is the eldest of my three brothers and has 8 kids with the same woman and lives in Texas. He works at UTMB in Galveston and makes enough money to take care of his family.
At first glance of his text message I laughed, then I re-read it again and was stumped and upon another read and I became pissed. Shawn is two years younger than me and very capable of taking care of himself so I found it odd that he would be asking me for money.
You see, I hardly ever hear from Shawn and usually when we talk I am the one doing the calling. Through conversations with my grandmother I assume he was doing well because of his job at the hospital but I was wrong.
Anyway, I called him this morning to get more insight on the story before giving him a resounding NO and you would not believe how quickly the conversation soured when he realized that I was not going to give him money.
Ok, here's a little advice for those of you who like to hit up your family members for loans:
- Be ready to answer a shit-load of questions about your lifesytle and financial management.
- Be ready to hear the truth... whatever that is. So if you are one of those people who only call when you need something, be prepared to hear it.
- Suck it up! Nobody cares that your pride is suffering. If you are bold enough to ask for money then be strong enough to take the criticism that comes with borrowing money.
- DO NOT insult the person you are asking for money. I revealed to my brother the reason I thought he was broke was because of all them damn kids and he told me flat-out, "I should reach through this phone and smack the shit out of you!"
- DO NOT assume the person you are asking for money is financially wealthy just because they manage their money well. My brother said I MUST be rich if I could afford a family vacation in South Lake Tahoe.
I share these pointers with my fellow "loaders" so that in the distant future you don't add insult to injury by asking for money and insulting the person all at the same time. It's not a good look and could lead to some resentment or fallout.
Instead of getting angry with my brother, I decided to explain a few things to him before telling him NO. I realized that although we were raised in the same household with the same values my brothers didn't absorb the life lessons as I had.
However, being that he is an adult now and having kids that he can't afford I only felt it necessary to tell him to get a second job or take out a loan with his bank if he needed the money so bad. After that I told him that I had to get ready for work myself and bid him adieu.
For the first time in my adult life I didn't feel bad by turning m brother away AND I kept it civil instead of loosing it! I issued a soft b!tch slap without dislocating my elbow! LOL :)
Peace & Blessings,
ChicaWest
No comments:
Post a Comment